Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I'm a woman....I was BORN to survive!
 He struggled to get sleep...the plaintive sounds of cats in battle enough to stir not only the dog from her rest, but to awaken my son in the dark late hours. The dog had become so restless it near impossible to keep her from barking back! Even as I sat stern faced and with a firm tone, she continued to growl at each sqaw!Little did I know my son had been awake, annoyed by their persistant comotion which lasted for a few hours. He had to be up at dawn to get ready for hs day at work...how could he? How could anyone for that matter? If he didn't suffer with epilepsy, the sleep he'd been deprived of would never had caused the following chain of events! As I sat typing away at my keypad, he moved about the kitchen. The sudden sound of glass shattering on the slate tiles was the first sign, and I was up out of my seat in a flash! He did not have to say a word, and I knew better than to highlight what was going on, this only makes the seizure worse. A calm voice lead him to the living room, a calm voice which spoke from within a body that fouhgt not to tremble, my body.If he saw fear, it would cause his to exaspurate so with practice, you learn how to act.The muscles in his forearms rigid while his limbs followed the storm in his brain. Still, I spoke calmly, reassuring him that the valium we had quickly succeeded yet again to get down his throat, would soon give him rest and all would be okay. With one arm holding him up, I felt his body leaning heavier into mine..I had to be strong for he was counting on it!My back already aching, I quickly forgot all previous days of bed rest, even managing the ability to run to the door when his lift for work arrived.."I'm sorry, he won't be going in today..he has had another turn" Both passenger and driver sending wishes for a recovery, but no real time for me to stand about chatting, you can never be that long or that far away! So as the rest of the household slept, only the dog and I keep a vigilant watch over the young man who now slowly drifts off. when I am certain it is safe for him to leave my sight, I take him back upstairs to his bedroom...I pray for silence while cursing the ferel cats of the night! So I sit here, tired, sad, scared and frustrated, all at the same time. My fears only heightened when I am told now he showed clear signs of another episode just yesterday morning, my champion young son being the voice of concern and councel, steering his older brother back to his bed.So now comes the added fear of how close together these episodes have arrived, and I have NO answers. He took his medication, check...he had eaten all 3 meals including the pasta dish I whipped up last night...so it may have been the vicious cat brawl that annoyed him last night, but what of the night before that? Then the one just two weeks prior?? I am a mother in bad shape.Thank God for my friends online, they are there 24/7, and these days, I have an extended family which consist of a large group of women, all with love enough to take on one more sister, me. We have shared so much in such a short amount of time...everything from our interests, hobbies, work, dreams and ideas. Then there's our various extended online groups where each has one thing I sincerely need....support! Without those endless hurs of researchers working thier fingers to the last layer of skin tissues, we would not be as well informed on so many topics. I thank you, ALL of you because it is WE, who educate the public, and it is through US, doctors are asked many more hard-hitting questions! They rarely have the answer, but we have planted a seed of intrigue in their head. So now, as another day comes to an end, I have not spent the usual hours at my desk, mainly because exhaustion finally found me so caught a few hours sleep...my son, well he says he will sleep better tonight as it's not anywhere near as hot as it has been but agreed, from this point on, better he make up a bed downstairs when the heat rises upstairs, one temporary solution for now.I've cried those tears a mother cries when she feels lost....we have another 'move' on our horizon so the spare time I DO have is spent seeking a roof for our heads. We went from owning a home to joining the many other hundreds of 'gypsies'...YES, the gypsy lifestyle isn't too far from reality in the suburbs of Sydney! With many short-term leases, on top of endless 'open-house' inspections this scenario leaves every man for himself, desperate to house his family, never knowing where they will be from one week to the next! SHAME AUSTRALIA, SHAME ON YOU! Do we hold our Governement fully responsible for this outbreak in poverty????????? BLOODY OATH WE DO! On that note, before I begin ANOTHER chapter, I will sign off for rest....again, I thank God for my small blessings, we have a home and food in our cubpoards and my isolation is removed by those loving souls online and music to boost my spirits! Did I mention I am also a middle-aged woman?????? Born to survive!!!!!!! 'Gotta have a friend in Jesus!' |
